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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Random thought about the attitude of some people today

I usually refrain from writing any non-astrological topics here...but my recent interaction with one young lady (well - not so young! she is reaching her 37th year this month!) made me think how vulnerable and gullible people now-a-days are....

She claimed that one of her close friends is a leading astrologer running his own business and having different branches in different parts of the country. When I tried checking the background of the person, he did not have a history of achievement in the field at all....and that he was just working for another site - which had many branches - the site was run by an entrepreneur who did many things including running a guest house near Tirupati and selling some gemstone rings - so much for the astrological credency! That entrepreneur had "appointed" this man as "chief astrologer" (sic) and that is why the man was visiting various cities/ branches, and he did not have his own business at all. But this lady believed all her "friend" told, and was claiming that he was having own business and established branches in different parts of the country......(it is analogous to a senior associate of an IT company claiming the different branches are his own - just because he "visits" them to mentor others!)

Now, she was comparing this "paid employee" of a site with a leading international astrologer who was associated with many websites and also has his own practice.....and asked whether that International astrologer also could open many branches like that all over the city and in different parts of India and "visit" them just like her friend did, so that he can also "improve" in life! What stupidity! And what crass arrogance to suggest to a well-established reputed person in the field!

I am aware of the concept of "bias"- where we tend to judge our own people much higher than others whom we don't know - but this took the cake! Because, this lady had compared a Vivian Richards with a local Cricket Hero and claims the legend must also be like the local Cricket Hero and be seen in all the gullies/ trenches - without understanding that the legend would have already traversed those trenches and gullies long back, and doing so won't be a measure of his eminence in the field any longer. The legend may still humour young kids around the block with his gesture of playing with them - but he need not do so to improve his standings in the field!

If the woman decides to evaluate her prospective husband like that - based on her flawed baselines, I wonder what choice she is going to be saddled with ...maybe, she will just select some one who is struggling in the U.S. with jobs thinking that he is an NRI (That lady has an obsession with the U.S. just as many of our fellow countrymen are!)....or maybe, she will marry some flashy "paper entrepreneur" running some company that has no real activity - but has only paper pads and files - maintained solely for the purpose of claiming that he is a businessman (she will be easily carried away by the flashy exteriors).....

As a person who has given her a reading once and who sees possible good future for her, I have a very realistic fear that this lady is going to spoil her own future - due to her own "I am always correct and what I see is the truth, and I won't even listen to other versions of truth" attitude.

The interaction with that lady left me wondering - whether modern education and management training are worth anything at all; I have seen innocent village damsels judging people far more accurately - just based on their native intuition. Not that every modern lady is disillusioned or along false scents, but my experience as a counsellor over the years suggests that lot of women (and even men for that matter) lack real-life intelligence though they are tigers in their respective fields (IT, business analysts, Project Engineers of grand projects, CAs, etc.). Where are we losing.....how does this gap between "professional competency" and "real-life survival skills" come? Why is it that a software analyst who can take flies being thrown at her face with equanimity in the office feels she must argue with every mild suggestion that her elderly mother-in-law gives? In fact, we have the other scenario also - because some middle-management or top-management ladies are mothers-in-law themselves, and why is it that such persons who can silently try to "cover up" for the mistakes of team members is not willing to look the other way when the daughter-in-law fumbles and makes some mistakes inadvertently in the family atmosphere? Are we making people more like the blinkered horse - where the intelligence of our people is directed only along certain lines of thought and they are so naive regarding other aspects! If this is the sort of specimens that we will turn out after many years of schooling and after stints in reputed business schools, and even after many years of experience at work, I feel it is better we turn to the periods of Savages - in the forest - where their native instincts proved far more trustworthy and they were more life-ready than our pampered professionals of today.

Due to their attitude, these "successful" people often have a void in their lives - that can never be filled.

It is high time that education serves the purpose of improving upon the "emotional intelligence" of individuals also - because now a days, people don't have the sort of "real life exposure" that our previous generations had. My father - has experienced major deaths in his family - many of them before his 16th year and so was an expert in handling any health crisis/ hospitalization emergencies even as a young man. Some of the elderly gentlemen of his age, I have seen entering employment in early teens and supporting their siblings with that employment....etc. Our younger generation hardly has such "familial exposure", and all our teen years are spent "cramming" concepts so that the coveted posting in an IT company would come; the result being - many young persons of today are "tigers" in front of the screen - but would hop about hopelessly in a real-life emergency.

True there are "adventure clubs", "social responsibility clubs", etc. - again packaged by their employers; but I am afraid those do not serve the real purpose - because many of them just go through the motions without imbibing the essence of such activities. How else will you explain a business analyst earning 1.2 lakhs per month (yes...it is per month - not per annum!) saying "I am suffering a lot due to low salary(sic)".
The person does not realize that there are many families whose yearly income is less than her monthly income! Still the person claims involvement with NGO activities....what NGO activity is that - which is not keeping her in touch with the reality of her fellow-countrymen, which is what makes her feel miserable while in reality she is reasonably successful (I honestly felt that with her attitude, she is being over-paid definitely! I won't be surprised if the company finds it out, and fires her one fine day just as her previous employers did before she got employed here).

Again, those "adventure clubs" don't seem to help these youngsters to imbibe real courage. These folks don't know how to "keep quiet" when a wild animal crosses one's path, or to give way to women/ elderly when negotiating slippery slopes during spiritual treks....basic etiquettes that a forest-dweller knows and follows during course of day-to-day living!

We can't form a society out of the vacum....and it is an unfortunate reality that many of our youngsters do seem to live in cocooned dreams removed far away from realities of life...worse...they have a very poor understanding of those who lead real lives that are worthy of emulation.....and the day they lose their jobs (some of them do - in these recessive economy), they are left blank - because they have no other identity except that of an IT professional or an MNC employee, and some of them even become suicidal without realizing that people endure far far more in this world and they do survive ! Their hobbies, NGO activities, adventure clubs, everything is tied only to one thing - their profession...and when their companies ask them to take a walk - they are forced to walk all alone - because all those clubs belong to the company....!
Trust me I have had to give counselling to prevent such individuals from ending their lives when they lose jobs!

My sincere request to all parents - "Please don't brainwash your children to become just white collar slaves without personality." Encourage your children to develop real-life skills...let them run wildly - to develop stamina, get hurt by falling down - so that they know they can take pain, get bitten by canines - so that they know how to manage an unruly canine on the road in a deserted night while returning from the graveyard shift, fall from rocks - to learn that such falls are not necessarily dangerous, and there is a way to break the fall!, and lead a normal life - so that they develop real toughness and understanding of the world. Don't bring them up as softies who can't take a battering in life.....As the going says "The real winner is not who never gets beaten up - but the person who can take as many beatings with as little damage as possible." Life's challenges are a piece of cake for such real toughies. And we need such toughies to make our world better....the world always became better by the efforts of the tough pioneers who groaned and moaned and pushed relentlessly against the challenges of the world - blazing a trail that others may take on more easily.

My aim is not to downsize the reputation of the software industry or IT enabled services that have blazed a trail of development in our country....the purpose of my write-up is to request those softies to open their eyes to the world around them, and to realize that there is definitely a vast world that exists beyond their glass-paneled offices and "Hi/Bi/Dear" phony familiarity....and understanding that bigger world can help them better to deal with the challenges of their own field also.

A software engineer or business analysis who understands the real world won't pick up fights with a superior just because the superior failed to recommend this person for an on-site assignment (believe me...one young lady literally collared her superior in front of all her associates just because the superior refused to recommend this lady for an onsite opportunity. What takes the piece of cake is her naive belief that the superior wanted her to continue - but there was no vacancy at that time to extend the contract once it expired.....Curiously just after this lady left and got posted elsewhere, the company seemed to have "vacancy"! Still the message did not seep into her consciousness!). There is much more to life than a visit to the U.S. of A., and life has far better colours and lights than the lights of New York on a christmas day.....just look at the clear sky in a dark summer night to see what wonderful sights God has already left for you....just take a casual trek in any of the hills of India to see how much flora and fauna you have missed in your obsession to camp only in "designated corporate camping sites."......just move with the innocent smiling ordinary Indians during travels to understand how much people suffer and still manage to maintain their cheerful attitude....

1 comment:

Ragneel said...

http://goo.gl/CehFL

After seeing the above, the first thing that struck was your article.
Lack of 'Emotional Intelligence' and 'Real Life exposure' issues sprung into my mind.

We are so fragile and sensitive these days in terms of mental endurance.

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